A very close friend told me some news today that wasn't easy to hear. (It was a judgement placed on my personality from who I was years ago) I'm not going to lie, it stung! I am so grateful that I have friends in my life that will tell me the honest truth... even when it hurts. It is the reason for this post today. I recognize who I was, I realize how far I have come, and I realize how much being a Mom has changed the outlook I have on life. I am grateful for all of these stages.
Over the years, there were times in my life when I was selfish for all the wrong reasons. There were times in my life when I was wreck less with peoples hearts. There were people that I have hurt. To any of those people that read this post. "I'M SORRY." And I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.
I know that none of us are who we were 10, 5, or even 2 years ago... we all grow and we all change. Honestly I have even changed an incredible amount from who I was last summer. I have also learned to let go of pain that people have caused me in the past. It feels so wonderful to accept people for who they are.
"The good, the bad and the ugly." " No one is perfect."
"Love is what matters above all else."
These are sayings that all of us have heard and used throughout our lives.. but I truly never understood what they meant. But I do now.
Counseling was something that changed my life so drastically. It didn't just help me with my anxiety. It has awakened me to my emotions and to the emotions of the people I love. Like I have mentioned before, I was the type of person that placed blame on everything and everyone around me. Last year I was very unhappy. I was not who I ever would have wanted to face in the mirror. As you know I have looked in the mirror, and I faced that person head on. I deeply love everyone in my life, but I just didn't have a very positive way to express it.
The person I was, caused me to lose contact with friends over the years and I miss many of them ... but I am also a person that feels grateful for the times we shared. "I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."
— Dr. Seuss
To the friends that stood by my side while I was 'covered in mud' and continue to stand by me while I am 'washing off the mud' You will be friends that I carry throughout my life. You are my rays of sunshine. Thank you for sticking by me, encouraging me and crying with me over the past year. I will forever be grateful ... you know who you are .. I LOVE YOU GUYS!! You are my roots...
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| My Past .. My Present .. My Future I am so grateful to have you all in my life. |
Today I was awakened to this new stage of my life, where old friendships have evolved into something fresh and where I have attracted new friends that are such amazing women that have become so important to me. This new chapter of my life is beautiful.... and I am excited. I can't wait to see all the fun filled things that the future holds!
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I think I used to care too much about what people thought of me and not enough time caring what 'I' thought of me. I am so PROUD to say that I love who I am today... and how far I have come. I would shout it from the rooftop and I wouldn't care who was listening!
Life is too beautiful to care about other people's business ... I just love living my life now... and it is way more fun this way!! Growing and growing ...
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." ~Dr.Seuss
And I still hate mice!
With much love...
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