I worry ... I worry not ..

The last 2 weeks have been relatively slow paced for me compared to the last 5 months!(constant routine) I haven't even stepped inside the gym for 16 days :( I have been a bit of a hermit. I got a touch of the tummy flu and then Bryar got a pretty nasty cold so I have kept him home all week, giving up any alone time that I would have normally got while Spencer is away at work, and it has been great! We have had a lot of cuddle time and we have had beautiful weather so I have been able to go on a couple amazing walks with him and some much needed girlfriend time ( my friends are so amazing, I am so lucky!)

Our Little Bee is so sleepy on sunny walks!

 I have to admit, my anxiety was pretty bad last week .. I procrastinated getting Bryar his 6 month shot for a year because I had only been choosing to view immunizations from a negative point of view.. but in November when he got a rash after a cold, I jumped to the thought that he had measles (it wasn't) and I knew in that moment that I needed to bite the bullet and continue on with his shots. But because I had built it up for a year I was worrying myself to tears (the "snowball affect" as my friend affectionately calls it) that something awful was going to happen. I am lucky enough to have a close friend that is a nurse (and a Mommy) and she gave me a pep-talk and set me straight!! (*Thank You*) Sometimes I feel like the things that I used to worry about when my anxiety was at it's worst come back to haunt me and it takes me a little while to release the thoughts. I was fixating that something bad was going to happen. But I wasn't talking about it because I didn't want to admit that I was having anxiety. (I thought I was over that) But trust in friendship is so amazing ... and I was able to open up and talk about what I was worrying about, and all the feelings just washed away as quickly as they came. Once again I was reminded that just talking about a problem automatically takes the thoughts power away, and confidence is resumed. One of my best friends reminded me that when we are on a journey, taking a few steps backwards helps move our journey forward. 
I can't stress the message enough that .. I think that if we all just opened up and talked about the things that were bothering us (big or small) we feel better, and we realize that we were giving our thoughts power. This can be related to everyone I know.. We all worry about something! Our health, our jobs, our children, our friends, our family,our weight, money and even our neighbors. Express the thoughts you worry about to someone you trust and see what clarity it brings.
I am learning to embrace my anxiety.. and I am continuing to learn how to talk about the thoughts that I can't seem to let go of. (so that they don't snowball) Finding ways to release bad thoughts and embrace clarity. Washing off more of the mud..
With much love...